The full moon in Sagittarius continues to illuminate my backyard this week–speckled with shapes and shadows of shifting leaves.

I awoke at 5 AM to let my dog out. Watching her slowly make her way to the back of the yard to take a tinkle in the blurry, blue cascade of la luna gave me solace. I have been worried that once our baby comes, I’ll be so tired that I’ll fall asleep while feeding her and squish her.

But,

if I could hear my dog wake an hour and some before her usual waking hours, hearing her wonder if she could go outside, surely I would be able to feel my child’s needs and breath and essence of life beside me in the dark…

I take a deep breath and make my way back to bed.

Full moons are for letting go.

I’ve been letting go of my past lives, at last.

Share

I’ve spent a portion of my days this week scrolling through my Facebook Friends, unfriending by the hundreds. All people I once knew, mostly from cities past and careers past.

Film industry acquaintances from my years in LA, where I put acting at the helm of my ship.

Makeup artists, photographers, hair stylists, and wardrobe stylists from my years of modeling, while based in Salt Lake City.

Peers from high school in Hawai’i, where I myself introduced Facebook to my campus for the first time nearly twenty years ago.

Sometimes, I find my thumb hovering over a name I don’t recognize. Curious, I’ll click through to mutuals to discover how we strangers ended up with this online connection. The recognition will click. It’ll be something vague…we worked together once…and I’ll pause–should I delete this thin thread of association? This last stand of potential between us. Once I do, we surely will never “connect” again.

The old thought patterns that I once found genuinely useful come up–how might we collab/work together/use each other to forward our projects or careers? How might my popping up on their feed keep my work and potential in their stratosphere?
What if I re-enter the field years from now?
Without all of these once-recognizable perhapses?!

What if this or that random person is casting for a role exactly right for me (which I don’t currently have in my consideration whatsoever at this time) and because I delete them now, I’ll never have that off-chance at entering their recollection and snagging that stupendous part and hitting a new momentum and BAM BAM BAM I am at the SAG Awards?

Sometimes, it takes an extra push for me to let that old operating software sourced in lack and “maybes” go.

What if I keep cluttering the current view I have on my active community with just-in-case, non-friends?

My thumb flips back and continues on her unfriending tirade.

unfriend
unfriend
unfriend

OK, OK, to be honest, sometimes I skip over names, keeping my workload of this task looped with another spiral in the future. Another round of: Is this clutter worth their leverage?

Alas. Letting go comes in rounds, I’ve found.

And this one–following my wedding–has been the most significant and wonderfully freeing one yet!

As I let go of entire decades of my life and step into my tangible, current one, I can immediately see myself more clearly.

I can see where my attention is pulled and where my project-starts organically hover. I am overwhelmed, a bit, with ideas and possibilities. Though, I have a keen instinct that the more I de-clutter in every area of my life, the more a spotlight will shine on my most aligned next steps.

Leave a comment

Working in tandem with the universe seems to always give me the extra edge I need to cope with any disruptions the stars might also signal.

I hope this moon cycle finds you, too, letting go. I hope it lights up any blockages so you may more easily traverse them, and I encourage, with love, for you to do so with courage and faith.

A hui ho,

Julia